PROFILE!!!!!!(that's my profile)

SOME AWESOME QUOTES:

"Who's this guitar playin sons a bitch. It's a question often asked. on his head a bucket of chicken bones. On his face a plastic mask. Well he's the bastard son of a preacher man. On his town he left a stain. They made him live in a chicken house. Tryin to hide the shame. He was born in a coop, raised in a cage. Children fear him, critics rage. He's half alive, he's half dead, folks just call him BUCKETHEAD!" ---Les Claypool (singer of Primus) opening lines for Buckethead, amazing guitar player


"How did we end up at the children's hospital?
Oh dear!
Little wheelchairs flying through the air! Crippled orphans exploding on impact! Why? Why?
Little dead bodies floating on waves of blood and gore! The carnage!
...Oh no. Don't do that! The other orphans are feasting on the dead bodies in the middle of the road!
What's wrong with you! You're..you're animals!
ANIMALS I SAY! YOU ALL DESERVE TO DIE!
BLACK RUBBER DEATH FOR YOU!!!
.........BAIL OUT!"- Leland's Grandma, From Youtube video Dr. Tran


"When God gives you lemons you FIND A NEW GOD!" - Powerthirst 2 video


"We have front row seats for this theatre of mass distruction. The demolitions commitee of Project Mayhem wrapped the foundation columns of a dozen buildings with blasting jelly. In two minutes primary charges will blow base charges and a few square blocks will be reduced to smoldering rubble. I know this becasue Tyler knows this. And suddenly I realise that all of this, the gun, the bombs, the revolution, has got something to do with a girl named Marla Singer. Bob. Bob had bitch tits." - opening for Fight Club
LOLZ



*President Bartlet walks into a room and begins to give a speech, then interrupts himself and openly talks to a sitting Dr. Jacobs*
"President Bartlet - Forgive me, Dr. Jacobs. Are you an MD?
Dr. Jacobs - A PHD.
President Bartlet - A PHD?
Dr. Jacobs - yes sir
President Bartlet - Psychology?
Dr. Jacobs - No
President Bartlet - Theology?
Dr. Jacobs - No sir
President Bartlet - Social Work?
Dr. Jacobs - I have a PHD in English Literature
President Bartlet - I'm asking because, on your show people call in for advise and, you go by the name Dr. Jacobs on your show and, I didn't know if maybe your listeners were confused by that and assumed you had advanced training in psychology, theology, or health care.
Dr. Jacobs - I don't believe they are confused, no sir.
President Bartlet - Good. I like your show. I like how you call homosexuality an abomination.
Dr. Jacobs - I dont say homosexuality is an abomination, Mr. President. The bible does.
President Bartlet - Yes it does. Leviticus
Dr. Jacobs - 18:22
President Bartlet - Chapter and Verse.
I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I was here. I'm interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She's a sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be?
While thinking about that can I ask another? My Chief of Staff Leo McGarry insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says, he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or is it ok to call the police?
Here's one thats really important, because we've got a lot of sports fans in this town. Touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean, Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves could the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point?
Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side by side?
Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads?
Think about those questions would you?
And one last thing...
While you may be mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the ignorant tight-ass club, in this building when the President stands, nobody sits."
*Without a word, Dr. Jacobs stands and the president leaves the room.* - From The West Wing